Miss She

What better way, on women’s day, would it make you feel to be a woman, but that you are in your chums (menses)!!

I am just nineteen, and I never knew until today that I am a woman! My mobile inbox is still flooding with ‘Belated Happy Women’s Day’ messages!!

I didn’t want to grow up so soon, but I guess I have. So, it was better for me to accept the fact, that I am no more a girl, but a WOMAN !! Few hours, and then, I was replying everyone humbly, “Thankyou, for acquainting me with such a happy realization.”

Then, later in the day, there was nearly nothing to do. I wanted to post my blog, but server was dead slow. I didn’t feel like completing my college projects either, my stomach was aching profusely. I have never been able to get the logic of stomach ache during chums !! 

Anyways, so I just leisured around for sometime, mostly sulking in my bed, and getting lost in my beautiful ‘girly’ childhood! Soon, it was getting too much of nostalgia on me. Hence, I glued myself to television. I halted on this movie, ‘Astitva’. It talked of the same old chauvinistic Indian society and Hubby-devoted Wife! I couldn’t take the crap any longer, so I just turned it off too.

But something gripped me. I realized, somehow, its not all crap, and if it is, then even am a part of this crap.

I mean, I am just nineteen, and I don’t know whom would I get married to, yet I hold this high respect for the unknown lover in my heart.I know, there’ll be days, when he would want to make love, but I wouldn’t, yet, I know, I will let him in, just cause he’ll be my husband. On the contrary, whenever, I would want to have sex, and he’d be in no mood, I doubt, if he’ll satisfy me on those days. I know, am going to be a working woman, so will he be a working husband, yet I also know, kitchen will be my department. Howsoever tired I’d be, I would be required to cook. I know, I can have maids and all to cook. But then, somehow, its always in me , I don’t know from where, that in my home I would never keep a cook and a maid. I believe a good wife is always the one, who cooks for her husband from her own hands. And yes, for all the above, I also know, a good husband is always the one, who helps her wife in everything, understands her, and compromises equally, or may be a little more. But ouuh, I know, it doesn’t work that way when it comes to men. They shall hardly help you in household chores, in kitchen rarely, and in bed, they are the King.

Honestly, when I brainstormed myself, I was shocked to know that I am going to be a wife who would simply be at her husband’s feet always. I don’t know why will I be like this, considering my fuelling rebellious nature otherwise. I am so much of a ‘self-centric’ being, yet I am all ready to succumb to my husband’s needs and wants. Even when my fingers type all this, I can’t make sense of it at all. I am doubting my own aggressive, broad-minded, free existence.

I don’t blame the society for this, cause, in other spheres I have never become a prey to society’s conditioning. Then why this one?

I am not a mother as yet. I am just nineteen, yet I have this such strong motherly feelings in my heart for the little Princess I will be adopting one day. Know what, I have even decided her name, and that too when I was just in grade IX (nine). And today, I collect cute daughter cards for the one who hasn’t yet arrived even on this planet !! Even while I type this, my heart is oozing with motherly feelings for my daughter. I love you my GodAngel.

I don’t know why am I like this? Women’s Day made me realize it. Perhaps, this is what is the heart of a woman like. Always, ready to do anything for her family. Always.

Inspite of zillion of troubles, from pinching bra straps to giving birth to a baby, from seven days of pain each month( during chums) to cradling a withered divorced marriage. We women, have so much of resistance. We can bear so much. How? I wonder? I am a woman myself, I realized it just today, and so, I want to thank the woman of my life for being with me always, inspite of all her womanly trouble’s, my mummy.

Mummy, you are simply so best. I love you loads and loads. And I know, I shall never be able to repay you, neither in terms of love nor in any other respect, all that you’ve done for me. I love you mummy. Please bless me, so that I lead a life as strongly, as you.Also, I wish all the Women in the world, a VERY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN’S DAY.

And to myself, welcome to womanhood Purple !!

And yeah! Something inside me makes me write this too, ” I AM PROUD TO BE A WOMAN’, irrespective of the fact that each day my life, for being a woman, holds lewd reamarks from men, some run away on their bike feeling my breast(Bastards!), my office Editor leaves no chance to feel my body in any way, and ouuh coming back home late nights are a nightmare. Also, during rains, I can’t get drenched alone!! Still, I think, I am proud to be a woman. I AM.

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